Smooth Operator
by MsBlackOut
Summary: When Plagg becomes exceptionally bored within Adrien's schoolbag, he decides to entertain himself by texting Tikki via Adrien's phone to Marinette's. Could the kwami of destruction have an ulterior motive? Like ridding himself of the headache that is two daft miraculous holders in need of enlightenment? You betcha. (One shot)


_Dear Reader, here is short story number eight. My uni course on short story writing is drawing to an end meaning I'll finally have some time to work on my longer stories. Sorry for the hiatus. Hope you get a laugh out of this one!_

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Plagg knew there were certain rules a kwami had to abide by, but rules were meant to be broken right? Especially when your chosen and your partner's chosen were so damn dense. Or maybe they'd just taken too many knocks to the head. Anyway, Plagg was really over this whole lovey dovey crap when it was clear that his boy and Tikki's girl longed for each other. Even if the whole messed up love square had come into play yet again. Surely Tikki should have known the consequences of hiding their identities, this happened with far too much frequency given their very long existence. When would the red kwami learn?

Protect their identities, yadda blah yadda. Plagg was getting a sore forehead from slapping it so often. Adrien had almost put the pieces together yet again and like every other time he came to the wrong conclusion. It was mentally draining being around this level of stupidity, add to that the extensive amount of sleeping time a cat requires and you get a cranky kitty.

With a yawn and a stretch, the black kwami blinked his bleary eyes while within Adrien's school bag. A bag containing boring stuff like books, pencils and a lunchbox full of nutritious goodies. There was an oxymoron if Plagg ever heard one. Still, he opened the lid to check for cheese and let out a disgusted snort. No camembert.

What had he been doing again? Oh that's right, pondering ways to sooth his fragile patience at having such a daft holder when it came to love. Why couldn't the boy adore food as much as his kwami? Better yet, why couldn't the chef at the mansion prepare something other than rabbit food for Adrien? With a roll of his slit pupils, Plagg contemplated ways to entertain himself even if he was out of camembert. Although technically there was some in Adrien's pocket as well as his locker. Regardless, they were out of reach.

Pawing his whiskers, Plagg perused the contents surrounding him and decided that his most interesting option was sleep. A long delightful nap beckoned with the promise of dreams where he was locked in a cheese factory and had to eat his way out. Good times, if only they could become reality. Laying back in the hopes of capturing that wonderful dream, Plagg's tiny frame was just getting settled onto the smooth exterior of Adrien's phone when it vibrated with a message. Letting out a low growl, Plagg turned with laid back his ears and quietly hissed at the phone. It was just Nathalie nagging Adrien about a change in his schedule she'd prattled about earlier in the day. Plagg wondered if the woman had been dipped in liquid nitrogen in the past, it would explain her cool demeaner and icy stare.

The vibration under his butt reminded him that he was sitting on Adrien's phone and a wicked idea came to mind. While Plagg was lazy by nature, he was more observant than his holder. After Dark Owl, the kwami was able to identify Tikki's chosen and in doing so he'd discovered his counterpart's favourite hiding place: Marinette's handbag. Meaning she too was sitting beside a phone. With a smirk, Plagg unlocked Adrien's phone and typed out a message.

**Hey Sugar-cube, how you doing?**

Peering up through the narrow gap below the bag flap, Plagg waited for a response. He'd either get an answer from Tikki or Marinette (who would faint/squeal like a banshee thinking it was Adrien calling her that).

**I was fine until I discovered a message from an irresponsible kwami.**

And he had a bite from Tikki. Meaning he could rile up his counterpart. What fun!

**And here I was thinking you were going to use that sweet nickname you gave me. Come on, call me Stinky-sock. I dare you.**

Plagg was sniggering as he pressed send.

**Stop fooling around, Plagg. Leave Adrien's phone alone.**

**Oh, so we're being formal now, Tikki. Let me put this plainly. I'm BORED.**

**Go eat some cheese.**

**I would but I have none. I'm a poor starving kitten. You got anything yummy to eat? Preferably something without sugar. **

**Only cookies. **

**Puke. You need to refine your palate. **

**They say you are what you eat. Stinky, aged and soft around the middle sounds like you and your camembert.**

**How dare you dis my camembert! Plus, I am not stinky. Now Adrien's socks, they've got an indescribable odour beyond divine. Especially after fencing. **

**TMI.**

**Tolerate Moronic Imbeciles? Oh, sure. I do that all the time.**

**NO! Too Much Information.**

**Right, because we can't have that. We can't "disclose" certain things to our chosen, now can we? Even if it would make life so much easier and I wouldn't have to bang my head against a wall repeatedly because a certain lovestruck boy can't figure out who his sweetheart really is. **

**It's for their own safety.**

**Sure it is. I think you like the drama, Sugar-cube.**

**I do not! Can't you be serious for once?**

**And where's the fun in that? I already I told you I'm bored. **

Plagg was busy grinning at the screen and waiting for a response when there was a commotion in the classroom. The bag he sat within was yanked from the floor and began swinging as Adrien ran. With a groan, Plagg slouched in the bag knowing full well what evoked such a response from his chosen. "Akuma," he grumbled, "Why now when I was having such fun?"

To confirm his surmise, the kwami flinched and squinted as Adrien opened the bag allowing sunlight to shine right in Plagg's face. This was supposed to be secluded? Oh right, dense human. At least there was no one in sight. Adrien's giddy enthusiasm filtered into his voice. "Time to suit up. Plagg, claws out."

There was no time for a snarky comeback. The magic ring sucked Plagg's elongated and warped form into the miraculous, transforming and imbuing Chat Noir with his powers.

From there, things were positively routine. Plagg was aware of what went on even though he couldn't interact with his chosen. Chat Noir found Ladybug. Chat Noir flirted with Ladybug. Ladybug ignored said flirting and got down to the business of beating the akuma. Chat Noir schooled himself to focus, intent on impressing Ladybug. Their teamwork thwarted Hawkmoth. Chat Noir tried flirting again. Only managed to kiss Ladybug's hand and then they parted. Transformation was then dropped and given the time, Adrien was escorted home by his bodyguard.

Plagg's care factor was in the single digits. His belly required filling because he was utterly famished from all that hard work. To prove this, the kwami diligently provided his chosen with the appropriate level of whining to get more than his allotted cheese intake for the day. With this achieved, the kwami wrapped his arms around his full belly, selected a place to slumber in Adrien's room and closed his eyes.

Adrien's confused voice roused the tiny cat from his light doze on the desk. "Huh? What's this mean?"

Plagg lifted a single eyelid to take in his chosen with crinkled brow as he stared at his phone. "What's it say?"

"It's from Marinette saying: 'I don't care if you're bored.' Maybe she sent it to the wrong person?"

Both of Plagg's eyes snapped wide open. "Um…"

"Wait, there's a whole thread of messages." Adrien stated as he thumbed the screen. "I didn't write these." The model's spine straightened, and his head turned slowly to glare at his kwami. "You wrote these."

"Maybe."

"Wait, why'd you call her Sugar-cube and Tikki? Hang on, Tikki is Ladybug's kwami."

Plagg simply stared and waited for Adrien's dumb deduction.

"This must mean… Marinette somehow ended up with Ladybug's kwami by mistake!"

And there it was. Plagg cleared his throat. "Are you sure that's the only possibility?"

"Are you suggesting Marinette kidnapped Tikki?" Adrien said, sounding aghast.

"No, that's not what I was suggesting."

"Then what?" Adrien insisted as he began to pace.

"Think about it, long and hard."

Adrien froze mid step. "Ladybug once lost the bee miraculous. Oh hell, she must have lost her earrings!" Plagg raised his paw to cut that line of thought but it was too late. "Claws out!"

With a yowl of protest, the cat kwami was back to powering up Chat Noir. Again, nothing but awareness and no ability to influence his clueless chosen.

Of course, Chat Noir raced to Marinette's house. Of course, he went in with no plan. Of course, he didn't transform back. And of course, Marinette was on her balcony wearing that same dopey expression Adrien got when thinking about his love. Ick. Cheese was so much simpler.

"Chat Noir!" she gasped as he landed on the railing. Apparently snapping her out of her starry-eyed state.

"Uh, hi Marinette." Plagg would have rolled his eyes if they were currently formed. So smooth Chat Noir… not. And the boy continued his venture into inept sophistication. "Sorry to drop in on you like this but there's something you have that I need."

Blue eyes widened and rounded cheeks flushed. "Really? To be honest I'm surprised you're here."

"You are?"

"Yes. You see, I thought you were missing your kwami again."

Plagg was glad he had no arms right now. Otherwise he would have smacked his own forehead for the umpteenth time. For all their street smarts, these two were ridiculously dense.

"Um, no. I've got my kwami. But you, you've got Ladybug's kwami. Right?"

That blush got even redder. "Um, why do you ask?"

"Well, I um, got a tip off that you had her." Chat Noir's lack of eloquence made Plagg want to groan.

Marinette lifted the phone cradled in her hand. "From Adrien?" The dreamy intonation of her voice was not lost on Plagg, Chat Noir on the other hand failed to notice.

"Um, yeah. Can you give me Tikki so I can return her to Ladybug?"

Those big blue eyes stared at Chat Noir with rising panic as she tried to think up an explanation. This was so utterly painful. So much so, that Plagg pulled the one trick he could do while powering Chat Noir. He released his magic and exposed his holder's identity. Right there in front of Marinette.

Adrien's arms flailed around wildly as he tried to cover himself as if he were nude. Plagg choked back his laughter as he turned to Marinette whose jaw was practically dangling at her toes. "Please put the poor boy out of his misery. More importantly, please make the stupid stop!"

Tikki zoomed from the pot plant she'd been hiding behind and glared at him. "Plagg! I can't believe you did this."

Plagg flew over to Marinette hovering at her ear like the devil on her shoulder. "Transform and show him who you are."

"Plagg!" Tikki snapped.

Marinette's eyes skimmed over her exposed partner with dawning realisation. "Tikki, spots on!" And just like that, the nagging red kwami disappeared and Ladybug stood before a gaping Adrien.

"Milady?" he spluttered as she threw herself into his arms.

"Kitty," she crooned in a way she'd never said it before.

A wide grin flashing perfect teeth was plastered on the model's face. He placed his hands upon Ladybug's shoulders, pushing her back so they could stare at each other with matching expressions of glee. Glee that gradually shifted into a shared smoulder as they continued to stare at each other.

Plagg cleared his throat in attempt to create some action between the pair. But no, they continued gazing into each other's eyes until the kwami was on the verge of heaving. This wouldn't do. So Plagg took matters into his own paws, snagging the ribbon on one of Ladybug's pigtails and tugging on it until her face was a mere hair's breadth from Adrien's. Finally, the boy moved in and kissed his lady.

Relief had Plagg's tiny form sagging as he sighed. "About time."

As you can imagine, Ladybug and Adrien didn't separate straight away. Nor in five minutes. Nor in ten. Heck, it was a good half an hour before Plagg interjected to stop their make out session. "Ahem, I'm hungry. I need cheese."

Adrien's blonde fringe was entangled in Ladybug's until he turned to face his kwami. Green eyes were hazed over for a moment. Then he seemed to remember where he was and smirked. Plagg did not like that smirk. He was pretty sure he knew what it meant.

"Plagg, claws out."

"Damn you!" The black kwami squawked. Stupid ungrateful smitten humans.

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**Doing a story from Plagg's point of view was a lot of fun. I love him as a character, because let's face it he is highly entertaining. **

**As always thanks for reading. In advance I'll say thank you kindly for any follows, favourite and/or reviews. Cheers :)**


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